Taking on Stigmas and Stereotypes

We have both had our illness be invisible as well as visible. My condition was invisible until about a year and a half ago when I began limping, falling, and needing to use accommodations in school. Tremors' condition is invisible after treatment as long as she keeps her wig on, however, before treatment becomes visible when she begins to jeebie (our first post explains what a jeebie is).

Below are things that have been said to either one of both of us that we want to address because they are NOT true of us or anybody else. The fact that people feel that these are appropriate to say means that ablism is alive and well even in 2016. 

"You are broken"

There are two different definitions of broken. The first is "having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order." This is referring to a condition such as a broken arm, which I promise I do not have, well at least at this point in time. 

The second definition is "having given up all hope." This meaning makes more sense because it refers to someone that has given up on the world. I can promise you that given these two definitions we are not broken. We have not given up on the world my any means. People that struggle with chronic illness have to fight so much harder than most people. If we had given up, you would know it, but we haven't. The fact that people with chronic illness are working, attending school, raising families, and doing what everybody else does means that we as a people are the farthest thing away from being broken. 

"You are unlovable"

Why would I be unlovable, I did not do anything to you. I did not wish to be born with a chronic illness and have tried to use it to the best of my ability to help people. I am not the one in this situation that is being mean and hurtful.  Also everybody that I have met with a chronic illness has blown this opinion wide out of the water. People with medical problems are their own community, and let me tell you that community is full of love. It is where Tremors and I have found the most help and acceptance. This community is larger than anyone would ever even dream it would be. 

It does not just involve people that have chronic illness. It involves their friends, family, doctors, nurses, teachers, and allies. A group where people are willing to give whatever they have to help eachother in times of need are the best most lovable people there are. 

"You are unemployable"

So I figure that there are at least millions of job opportunities available in the world. Sure some take specialized training, and many are not geographically convenient but that is true for everybody. Every employer is looking for different skills in an employee. This means that the same trait that one person deems as unemployable another will deem as an asset. 

"You are a miracle" 

Thanks, but I would rather just be a person. 

"You are a liar/crazy"

First of all I'm pretty sure we can come up with a better word for crazy if we try really hard. This is often said to people that have symptoms that doctors are unable to explain. Just because something is unexplainable does not mean that it is not true. Also think a little bit about what the line above means. What would somebody with chronic illness gain from lying about having a disability. This post proves that having an illness whether visible or invisible comes with stigma. The fact that somebody is willing to come forward and share their struggles means that they are more honest than most of society. They should be embraced, not told that they are crazy. 

"You are never going to find love"

This one is the hardest for me to talk about because it is constantly on my mind as I'm sure it is for a lot of people that struggle with chronic illness. I know that I am still young, but thinking about my future I know that it is going to be different. What gives me hope that there is love out there for me are all of the people that I have met and look up to. They have been able to find love and lead the life that I one day hope to have. Even if a stereotypical family life is not in the cards for me I can tell you that even with half a heart between friends and family I have more love in my life that I could ever hope for. 

WE BELIEVE IN YOU!!

Nemo and Tremors