I am Vulnerable


            I am just like any other 25 year old. I love my family, I love my dog, I love spending time with my friends, I am getting my masters degree, and I have hopes and dreams for my future. The one way that I am different from a large part of the population is that I have Ehlers Danlos, POTS, but most importantly I have Heterotaxy. This is a big word, but essentially I have multiple spleens, my heart is on the right side of my body, it is flipped, meaning the left side of my heart is where the right side should be and so on. I also only have the left side of my heart, as the right side is underdeveloped and nonfunctional. 
            To date I have been through two open-heart surgeries, two eye surgeries,   two feeding tube placement surgeries, and countless feeding tube changes.  Given everything that I have been through I can honestly say that I have never been so scared in my entire life. I am very vulnerable. Most likely if I get COVID-19 I will die. I know it, my doctors know it, and my family knows it. Many are saying if you are vulnerable stay inside. I am staying inside; I am doing everything I can because I want to still be alive four months from now. 
            If you are somebody that is not vulnerable and do not have loved ones that are vulnerable I am very happy for you. You are truly lucky.  I would never wish this constant state of panic on anybody.  With each passing day the number of cases increase, and my likelihood of staying alive decreases. I am not alone either; there are thousands of vulnerable people in the same situation. 
            I don't care about people’s individual views. This is not about politics ore the economy to me. My goal is not to ruin Mardi Gras or spring break. I have no ulterior motive. I ask people to social distance because I am truly afraid of dying scared and alone in the ICU.  I don't want to be in a place where I am relying on my body to fight the virus, because the sad truth is that it wont be able to. 
            I know that I am immunocompromised and that I can't oxygenate above 92% even when I am healthy, and that while most people have a small chance of dying from COVID-19 I have a small chance of living through it. Due to no fault of my own, whether I live or die is up to people I don't even know. Pandemics bring out the best and the worst in people. Please show your community kindness, make sure those at risk have supplies, and above all else please stay home. Each person that chooses to stay home and self isolate may save the life of somebody they don't know. Please choose to be responsible, please stay home, and please help me and all people at risk. Please help me, I don’t want to die.  

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