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Showing posts from September, 2017

My Double Life

I live a double life, there is no denying that. My friends see one thing but I know that is not who I really am. How do I manage to juggle so many identities at once, how do I explain who I am to others. My friends all see my outer shell, they see a girl who is in college. They see somebody just like them, they see a lie. When they leave school they go out with friends, have fun with family, they get to do whatever they want but I don't. I have to set alarms to make sure I take my medication throughout the day or else I will be to sick to attend class, my facade will be broken.  Even during classes I am forced to take medications, displaying to my peers that there is something wrong with me.   I am on a first name basis with all of my doctors as well as much of the ER staff. The hospital is the place where everybody knows my name. While my friends wonder where they will work, I wonder if I will ever be able to work.   I spend my weekends in the hospital getting infusio

I Have a Chronic Illness

We don't think everyone knows what a chronic illness is.  They might have heard the term, or they may know someone who has a chronic illness.  However, they still may not fully grasp the subject.  For example, people close to us constantly ask when we are going to be cured.  News flash, we aren't, so the answer is never.  It's just something we have to learn to live with.  We will never be fully free from this condition.  We are reliant on doctors, nurses, and more medications than you can count.  Our phones can spell out medication names as well as what our conditions are with one letter.  We have good days, bad days, and straight up awful days.  At any moment our good days can become bad.  We can go out with friends somedays, but others we are stuck in bed.  We might have to cancel, we might not be feeling great.  We sometimes pretend that we are feeling okay when we really are not. We ask that people learn more about chronic illnesses.  No one is expecting everyone to k